Once upon a time, in a land not so far away....

.....there was a green young girl of 17. This innocent young thing went along with her beau to the 18th birthday of a friend. At the party, the couple did party things like sipping tea and eating cucumber and watercress sandwiches, and discussing the weather. Things proceeded as they usually did at such events, with the girl getting bored of talking about Metallica with her beau and his friends, so she wanders off to mingle.

Now the birthday girl of this party was known for being wild and having somewhat out of the ordinary interests. Our protagonist knew of this, and was intrigued by it- her present to the birthday girl had been a book of somewhat risque literature-our protagonist having some specialised knowledge of such things.

In addition to the literature and many other gifts, the birthday girl was given something that was rather a hit at the party- a lovely black leather riding crop.

Now, you may be surprised to learn that the birthday girl was not fond of horses, and that in fact the crop was intended for rather a different kind of riding.

At the time our protagonist began to mingle, this implement was being wielded by a certain young man; rather expertly in fact, on the backsides of other party guests.

Our protagonist lingers at the edges of proceedings until the young man in question notices her.

"Your turn?" He asks, holding out his hand. Our protagonist flushes, embarrassed but intrigued and emboldened by Malibu mixers, so she nods and steps forward.

He leads her out of the crowd and directs her to bend over. She does, and feels his hand warm and firm on her back, leaning her further foward. She giggles nervously and nods as he asks her if she's ready.

She bites her lip and trembles as the first of the warm up strokes falls on her jeans. She hears the crowd giggle and murmur, but keeps looking shyly at the floor.

She jumps with a start as a small spot of burning pain blossoms on her skin- and a nanosecond after her brain manages to process the whooshing sound of the crop slicing through the air.

More spots blossom, and she shivers, pain and the watching audience setting her primal reptilian brain on fire. A few more strokes and it's over- the moment has passed, and she smiles and stands, chatting briefly with her punisher and the audience before going back to her friends, her boyfriend, and her life.

******

Well, motherfuckers, guess who that riding crop wielding young man was? Yep, you guessed it, Gray!

That incident started a huge shit-fight with my boyfriend of the time (my first, actually) as he wasn't so impressed with the whole 'letting strange boys spank me with a riding crop while he was outside' thing. Unfortunately, loveable as he was he was terribly vanilla in the bedroom, so he was a little threatened by the whole situation.

Anyway, I had forgotten this little incident. (Oh, obviously, our protagonist = me.) However, Gray and I have some people in common- we discovered in one of our early conversations that he went to the same highschool as my first boyfriend and a girlfriend of mine, in the year above them, so that caused a nice 'Aww, isn't Brisbane a small place!' moment. In conversation he mentioned a friend of his, and I said "Oh, Friend, I know her, I went to her 18th." Gray looks at me and says "Hey, me too!" and I think, how odd, we were at the same party once and I don't even recall. There were plenty of people there so I guess it's not that odd. We chatted on about inconsequential things for a bit, as you do, and then he pauses, and looks at me.

"Were you a lot blonder then than you are now?" I nod and grin and say yes.

"Were you wearing blue jeans at the party?"

"I don't know. More than likely, they were my uniform back then."

Gray's face lights up, he grins and I can see the memory rushing into the front of his mind.

"I spanked you with a riding crop at that party!"

(At this point my brain implodes in an Amelie style moment of electrical signals whizzing between synapses as everything in the whole world seems weirdly connected.)

"Oh my lord, I so remember!" I freak out. We discuss, giggly and flushed, (mostly me) and pleased. What do you call that? Serendipity? Luck? Freakish coincidence?

I liked it, anyway. And the longer I go for the more I remember- the feel of his hand on my back, more importantly, the lovely dark things that stirred in my mind as he bent me over. What a lovely auspicious start to our interactions.

*grin*

m

Chillin with my caveman homies...

Computer dead. Stop. Send new hard drive. Stop. Much to report. Stop. Can't talk now. Stop.

Happy holidays, happy new year if no computer before then. Stop.

Much love,

m

Addendum:

Another Weird Thing

7. I really like being on webcam, and watching myself on webcam. Even if I am doing absolutely nothing. I'm SO VAIN.

m

A post about something other than boys...

Stolen from Steph... whose blog seems to be experience some kind of amnesia currently, so it might not actually be six things, or weird things. But you get the idea.

Six Weird Things About Me

1. In public, I am just about as self-concious as your average girl. However, once in the bedroom, naked as the day I was born, I am the most relaxed person you will ever meet- I have no body hangups in the bedroom whatsoever. Not shy at all. Go me.

2. I don't like roses. At all. Actually, that's not true- I just wouldn't like to recieve roses from a guy- they smack of thoughtlessness and un-originality- I don't want to be generic flowers girl. Give me lilies or tulips any day.

3. I go to the toilet A LOT. Probably double figures each day.

4. I actually think I'm quite normal. Except for you know, the bipolar.

5. I hate the sound of liquids being poured. It makes my brain hurt.

6. I don't like to make eye contact with people.

Man, that was actually really hard... see what I mean about thinking I'm normal?!

The Waiting Game...

I'm starting to lose patience with Gray. We didn't have our date Thursday- he got a new job and had to work; fair enough, but I've crossed the border from anticipation into the dull grind of waiting.

I don't enjoy the waiting game with him, even the little victories of recieving a text first are paling compared to the fact that I have to wait for them. Even when he texts me first, and I reply, his response to mine can take days, literally. I do not enjoy this. I know he works nights, being a bartender, and then sleeps most of the day, I understand that, but I don't have to like it.

The fact that I've waited this long speaks of something, anyway. Would you believe it's been more than two weeks since we've actually been face to face? A month since I met him, and two weeks of nothing more than the occasional text is driving me mad, to say the least. Well, actually it's not... the vast majority of the time I am cool and unflustered, it's just today I'm a little irritated.

I guess there's no rush, and it's no big deal- it's not like I'm holding myself from seeing some other boy while I wait. It's just an experiencing co-occurring with the rest of my life. Relax.

He's a little hot/cold with the messages, if this is consistent behaviour, whatever 'relationship' we have won't last- I can't abide people that run hot and cold, most especially because I am one, and I need my other half to have that gentle abiding tolerance that makes me able to come back again and again. I know that's asking a lot, and is a little hypocritical, but that's the way it is. There are a lot of good things I can say for The Ex, and that's one- he was always patient and giving with me, which I really appreciated. I can't see Gray doing the same, although it's hard to say, I don't know him that well after all. But hey, maybe I need something different?

In case you can't tell, I am blogging to avoid texting, although I'm not really too sure why I should be avoiding- this power game often seems pointless and needlessly frustrating- after all, after playing it for two weeks I should have more than proved to myself that he does text me if I don't text him?

I don't know. I just know I don't like this waiting.

m

Hate and hate Friday, redux...

Also hating on:

The portion of my gum that is weirdly swollen and painful.

My oddly sticky crusty eyelids in one eye.

The fact that I put my neck out in the process of looking in the mirror this morning.

ARGH.

m

Hate and hate Thursday/Friday...

So I'm pretty much the super bitch queen from hell this week. But only really quietly inside my head, or screaming abuse inside the car with the windows up, so it's only really bothering me. Anyway, you will get over it.

Things I Hate:

People Who Drive (that are not me)
Robbie Williams Fans (that are not me)
Robbie Williams (go home)
People who expect Robbie Williams to be a role model for children, and get all offended when he smokes on stage (He had a nipple tassle twirling Machine Gun Fellatio supporting his last show, singing Dirty Fucking Whore, for crying out loud!)
Boys who send lovely charming text messages about how much they want to see me, and then the next message is all short and brusque. (Okay, I don't really hate those, am just mildly annoyed at them)
Umm... okay, I got nothing.

Things I Like/Love

Cookie dough.
Chunky soup.
My bed.

In other news:

Lots of crying at the shrink today... in combination with intense crankiness, I better be getting my period or I am just a complete nutjob, which would be bad, and require an increase in my meds, which would = greasier skin. Nooo!

Saw Borat- meh schmeh. Was expecting a laugh riot, and was really only a laugh sit-in. Doh.


m

PS. No, I did not go to the Robbie Williams concert, but I am a fan. I have seen him twice before. Ner ni ner ner. I just want them to have their little concert not in my nice little area, but far away in Boondall where concerts belong. (Not at QEII either, I drive past there to get home from work, traffic badness.)

Dancing?

Oprah's little blurb from the tv guide today:

"Hours before their big night, Dancing With The Stars finalists Emmitt Smith and Mario Lopez stop here first! Then go inside a $75 million house! What does that look like? Then, what happens inside the womb of an elephant. Also, Grammy-winner John Mayer!"

Umm...okayyyyy....

m

Everyone else is doing it, why can't I?

The Music of My Life- cause I am such a sheep!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits:
Map of the Problematique- Muse.

Waking Up:
Panic Room - Paul Mac. (ha! ha!)

First Day of School:
Amsterdam- The Dresden Dolls. (I don't really know this song, I had to stop and listen to it.)

Falling in Love:
Faith- George Michael. I like this, cute! "Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body...I know not everybody has got a body like you...but I gotta think twice before I give my heart away, and I know all the games you play, because I play them too!" Haha, how appropriate!
Fight Song:
Godless- The Dandy Warhols. Kinda mellow for a fight song really- I want Love Outside Andromeda as my fight song!
Breaking Up:
Kiss Kiss- Holly Valance. *blush* How completely un-suitable. Except in the sense that usually after breaking up I get all dressed up and go out to drown my sorrows in somebody else's lips.
Prom:
100 Christmas, Disney's Very Merry Christmas songs. This is actually a whole CD in my library. I dunno eh.
Life:
Superstraight- Regurgitator. Don't really know this one either, but the words are good - "Give love give me good good times!"
Mental Breakdown:
Exaltation- Matisyahu
Driving:
One Breath Away - Sophie Monk. (MY GOD SHUFFLE IS PICKING ALL THE TERRIBLE SONGS HELP!)
Flashback:
Curl- Sneaker Pimps.
Getting Back Together:
Ahh finally a good one, and appropriate- Bound By Hurt Dissolved- Love Outside Andromeda! SO RIGHT. "I set you free, please go."
Wedding:
Blessed Night- Howling Bells. Alright, I guess.
Birth of Child:
Is You Is Or Is You Aint My Baby? - Dinah Washington. Haha, this is funny. One would hope that I would know!
Final Battle:
Riding Under One Banner - Hilltop Hoods.
Death Scene:
Blue Orchid- The White Stripes. Fuck yeah, this'd make an awesome death song! I die with an awesome bassline, fuck yeah!
Funeral Song:
Code Blue- i heart hiroshima. Yet another random thing on my playlist. My funeral happens without any bassline at all, spooky!
First orgy:
Praise You- Fatboy Slim. My movie has a prom AND an orgy? What kind of sick twisted teen movie is this?
Meeting Leonardo DiCaprio in a NY club:
Cool Scene- The Dandy Warhols. Okay, yeah sure.
Getting really drunk at your friend's wedding:
How To Explain - The Cat Empire
Crashing your car:
Grace- Jeff Buckley. Does this mean I die when my car crashes?
Overdose scene:
"Molly" from Wonderland (an instrumental piece by Michael Nyman). It is kinda druggy I suppose.
End Credits:
Do You Remember- Jack Johnson.

Well, my movie has a mellow end credit song, that means it must be happy ending right?

So far from this exercise I have learned that I have a lot of shit on my Itunes that I don't actually even know.

Things

1) At home alone on a Saturday night. The only thing that would make this lamer would be blogging about it...oh, crap.

2) My mouth feels weird!

3) My mum and mum-boyfriend bought me a full tank of petrol- that's the only time my car has had a full tank of petrol in it since I bought it, in October last year! It was exactly 50 dollars worth.

4) Mum let me drive the 300ZX. I am officially the COOLEST kid on the block. Only thing that was lacking was that it was an auto. Manuals are funner!

5) Mum gave me a free bottle of Bombay Sapphire. I don't drink gin, but all the sexy boys in my life do. Gonna get me (or my housemates!) some action, oohhhhh yeah.

6) Re-reading above- I really do have the awesomest mum in the world.

7) Wore new dress and adhesive bra out for the first time tonight, dress is adorabubble, (note: not a bubble dress) adhesive bra had no major mishaps, except for being weird and frightening (as a concept) and a little too nice to touch. (Note: Sticking hand down front of dress in Lonestar Browns Plains definitely non-viable entertainment optiont.)

8) Lonestar Browns Plains is utterly inferior to the one at Springwood- steak overcooked, burger and bacon dry and crusty, waitstaff forgetful, line dancing lacklustre.

9) RAQ or whatever fashion awards still fun to watch- got weirdly emotional watching the kiddies dancing to Scissor Sisters, please god don't let me be getting clucky at 21. That would be frightening.

10) That guy who won all the awards must give really good head, cause his designs were BORING.

m

NEIN!

Hello, my name is mmqc and I am a trivial pursuit nazi.

Actually, fuck that, I don't want a 12 step program to cure me, I can't STAND it when people bend the rules!

I agree that some allowances should be made- we had some Swiss people playing, fair enough for them to not have to get the references to Australian pop culture- that's fine.

However, the person who is currently in the lead by two pie pieces, doesn't need help by having his THIRD guess in a category (European islands) accepted. The first answer out of your mouth is your answer, no second chances- none of this fucking "Corsica..." *waits for sign from questioner* "Britain...." *waiting* "Iceland?" "YES!"

GOD THAT IS SO ANNOYING. Fucking cheaters. *ahem*

I had other Trivial Pursuit things to rant about, but that was the one that stuck in my head.

Also, the Bottlo didn't have any Double Blacks, (I KNOW!) so I had to settle for Smirnoff Tropical flavoured Twist, or whatever it's called. Awful. Like drinking sunscreen, my mate described it.

My mate was completely hammered, so wouldn't sleep when most of the rest of us wanted to, which means I haven't had much sleep. He also kept touching me, which I generally hate- for some reason I often don't even like my friends touching me, unless I'm in the mood. I'm weird, I know.

Dinner tonight with mumsy, I know, I am such a good daughter. My mummy loves me, and I her. Unlike Steph I don't have the balls to let my mum read my blog, but mostly because she would do something embarrassing like get a blogger profile just so she can leave comments about how much she loves her little schnookie wookums. (Okay, maybe she doesn't call me that but you get the idea.)

I know, I know, I have the awesomest mum in the world. Even if she does always leave slightly affronted voicemails when I don't answer her calls, even though I've told her I almost never answer anybody's calls because
a) my phone is perpetually on silent
b) it goes to voicemail in like two seconds, and this doesn't bother me enough to change and
c) well I hate talking on the phone anyway. So there.


Anyway... lunch is calling meeeee.

m

NB: Picture pinched from StuffOnMyCat (surprise!)- check out the first pic on the stuff on my cat page- some guy used it to propose to his girlfriend! OMGS!

Not much to report, Cap'n!

Nothing much going on. Just blogging idly. Yes, yes.

Mostly just one thing to say-

Dear Amazon,

Where is my Placebo special edition cd, BIIIIIIIIYOTCHES??!

m

The Game....

EDIT 8:36 am, Thursday: The following post is now completely pointless, given that I recieved a text message from Gray at the arsehole of the morning today. However, I'm keeping it. Read it if you like, or don't.

m

So I have more or less decided that this time, with this boy, I am going to try and play The Waiting Game. (IE Not message him, and wait for him to message me.)

I know I already kinda had, with the waiting for him to message me, but up til now I had previously been like 'Well yeah, that's a nice idea but I'll probably crack soon.' and had just accepted that as a given.

So now (unless somebody talks me out of it) I am just going to be good and sit tight until he messages me. Apparently this 'playing hard to get' drives boys crazy- and lordy do I want this boy to be crazy about me, cause then maybe he will be a little bit more considerate. (Hmm, there's some faulty logic I don't want to examine too closely.)

I have been informed by a source (a boy, of course) that I can expect to wait up to about a week and a half. This thought is a little scary- I'm not sure I can last that long! And surely if he takes that long to message it means he doesn't like me? I don't really like these games, but given that my previous strategies with boys I've liked haven't worked, I'm willing to try something new.

However it's pretty hard to have this kind of security- I guess the idea is to not care whether he messages me or not, but that seems impossible. Regardless of how unsure I am about whether he is 'boyfriend material' or whatever, I am pretty unlikely to just stop caring about whether he likes me! I can't really keep myself busy either, because I am poor beyond all recognition. (PBAR!)

Oh well. Wish me luck kiddies. Any advice on how to maintain this?

m

Spring fever....

Must... not...destroy...advantage...by messaging... to ask Gray to make out! *nggggh*

m

What I have to cover up before I go to work in ten minutes...

Without using foundation, powder or concealer, because I don't have any.

I am parting my hair on the other side from usual, which I tell you is fucking weird.

The worst thing is this is by far not the worst hickey I have ever had- this one didn't even hurt to get- just kinda made me squeal with delight. *Grin*

Just thought you'd all appreciate some good visuals.

That's my neck, btw.

m

Dreams, the dejas and the vus....

G'day everyone,

I had my very first dream about a blogger! It was Steph, and I hardly remember anything of it, except that she was talking about how much she went jogging and I was feeling ashamed of my lack of exercise. (Yeah, I know you were totally all hoping for something rude. Sorry!)

I was also thinking about my most common recurring dream. This will probably disgust you to a great degree, so I urge you stop reading now. In this dream, I have a cold, and I blow my nose, and into the tissue comes out the thickest greenest snot you've ever seen in your life. And I keep blowing, and it just keeps coming and coming until I end up chucking out the tissues and just pulling it out in thick green ropes of snot, with my bare hands, all the while I'm coughing and choking because I can't breathe and it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. What do you think it means? Maybe I've got sleep apnea or something.

Also, on Saturday night...actually, Sunday morning, with Gray, I had the most severe deja vu I've ever had in my life. (Seriously, click that link, it's fascinating stuff!) I get deja vu relatively often, apparently- I'd say at least once a month, this was probably the most intense one I remember. Apart from being suggestive of an unstable mind and possible temporal lobe disorder, I find the whole phenomena utterly fascinating- brain shit is so weird, yo!

Anyway, this particular incident occurred with Gray. We were lying in his bed, alternatively watching Invader Zim, chatting, and making out. Something he said, the position of our bodies, the layout of the room, something set me off and suddenly I'm awash with deja vu, the sense that sometime, somehow, I'd done this exact thing with this person, in this place, before. I don't need to describe it to you really, most of you have felt it, and it's fucking weird.

What's your most recent deja vu?

Update

Been a bit up and down today, thinking on and off about Gray. I'm not sure how I feel about him, he seems a bit damaged and defensive, and I'm not sure I'm in the right place for a 'fixer-upper'. I am used to being treated a particular way by guys, and 'defensively' isn't part of that.

On the other hand he's got a lot of good qualities. I guess I just have to give it time and see if the good outweighs the bad- I still 'feel' for him, which is why he can hurt me so easily, but I have to be rational sometimes.

m

Zombie blogging...

I have not been to bed yet, so this is going to be short.

I went to Dubdoubt last night, was pretty good, except for two twats doing Strictly Ballroom fucking new steps shite on the dancefloor. It's DUB ffs!

Gray came to the gig. I stayed at Gray's house, (no sex though, I am a good girl) went home this am around nine, to go to family Xmas brunch thing. Mum neglected to warn me that it wasn't just mum and step siblings, but in fact the whole family- consequently everybody got to see my GIANT hickey from Gray. Thanks mum.

Gray didn't buy me drinks last night. What's with that?

My shiny new penny is starting to lose it's lustre, a little.

Sleep now, okay?

m

Life changing event number 1:

I have just discovered THE MOST USEFUL WEBSITE EVER.

Here's to never being DRIVEN MAD by wondering what that song I heard is, ever, ever again.

The song that prompted this (which you should be acquiring IMMEDIATELY)? Sufjan Stevens- Chicago. Dooooo iiiiiit.

m

Speaking of emo...

I seem to be having a very ex-fixated weekend. I'm not really sure why- maybe because he was meant to go to the gig last weekend, and I'm not sure how I felt about the fact that he wasn't there. My friend and I both agreed that probably I'm the reason he wasn't there, and god knows, I don't blame him; I pretty much fucked him over. I wasn't really in a good place for that relationship with him.

But yeah, maybe a little fixated- hanging out with our mutual friends tonight, drinking. I dreamed about the ex last night, we hooked up in my dream, and when I woke up in the morning in his bed he was gone. I was really sad about it in the dream, as I guess I would be in real life. Evidently I'm all too susceptible to suggestion- he was meant to come round to our mate's place tonight, but was busy/tired/stressed from work, but I almost tried to talk him into it. That was a little weird, I'm not sure where I was expecting it to go if I succeeded. As much as I'm sure my hormones would have loved it if we hooked up again, even I am not that much of a bitch. I wasn't that great to him already, and I regret it, not going to make it worse by hooking up with him just because he's sweet and safe and familiar (and, y'know, hot. Looks kinda like previous picture, to be honest.).

Yes, this is a drunken rambling post. I am hoping to get it all out of my system by my date Sunday, so I don't talk about it then. I apologize in advance to anyone I bore to death with my morose musings about the failure of my last relationship.

m

Okay one more thing...

Emotastic!


(See people. It's not -all- bad.)

PS. I actually like Indie boys much better than emos. But so hard to find a picture of a beautiful Indie boy. Perhaps I'll have to go down to Rics and get one myself. *ahem* A photo, I mean. *grin*

m

Patience is...a whole shitload too much effort....

So I called Grey this afternoon, and we have a date. Nuff said about that. However I am going to list the things that are bothering me, and report back on these things after the date on Sunday.

1) Him not giving me free drinks last Saturday. Yes, I know this seems incredibly petty... obviously if he is not -allowed- to give out free drinks that's fine, but what if he is and he just didn't want to give them to me?! *gasp* Even just typing that last sentence made me feel lame.

2) Him pretending like he was going to 'forget' about our date on the phone. Also crap, I know, given I forgot about the first one.

3) Okay, I just got all tired all of a sudden. I got nuthin.

m