I seem to be having a very ex-fixated weekend. I'm not really sure why- maybe because he was meant to go to the gig last weekend, and I'm not sure how I felt about the fact that he wasn't there. My friend and I both agreed that probably I'm the reason he wasn't there, and god knows, I don't blame him; I pretty much fucked him over. I wasn't really in a good place for that relationship with him.
But yeah, maybe a little fixated- hanging out with our mutual friends tonight, drinking. I dreamed about the ex last night, we hooked up in my dream, and when I woke up in the morning in his bed he was gone. I was really sad about it in the dream, as I guess I would be in real life. Evidently I'm all too susceptible to suggestion- he was meant to come round to our mate's place tonight, but was busy/tired/stressed from work, but I almost tried to talk him into it. That was a little weird, I'm not sure where I was expecting it to go if I succeeded. As much as I'm sure my hormones would have loved it if we hooked up again, even I am not that much of a bitch. I wasn't that great to him already, and I regret it, not going to make it worse by hooking up with him just because he's sweet and safe and familiar (and, y'know, hot. Looks kinda like previous picture, to be honest.).
Yes, this is a drunken rambling post. I am hoping to get it all out of my system by my date Sunday, so I don't talk about it then. I apologize in advance to anyone I bore to death with my morose musings about the failure of my last relationship.
m
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment