Texted a friend to see if he was having any Friday night festivities, but of course he's at my ex's drinking. *sigh* I got a little twisty pang in my tummy, I don't know if it's from not being included (which of course I wouldn't be) or just the whole ex thing. I don't know, it just sucks right now. Usually I think I am making real progress in getting over it, but there are still moments like this one where it just sucks, and I kind of wish things could just go back to the way they were before.
m
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rambling. Show all posts
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Waiting Game...
I'm starting to lose patience with Gray. We didn't have our date Thursday- he got a new job and had to work; fair enough, but I've crossed the border from anticipation into the dull grind of waiting.
I don't enjoy the waiting game with him, even the little victories of recieving a text first are paling compared to the fact that I have to wait for them. Even when he texts me first, and I reply, his response to mine can take days, literally. I do not enjoy this. I know he works nights, being a bartender, and then sleeps most of the day, I understand that, but I don't have to like it.
The fact that I've waited this long speaks of something, anyway. Would you believe it's been more than two weeks since we've actually been face to face? A month since I met him, and two weeks of nothing more than the occasional text is driving me mad, to say the least. Well, actually it's not... the vast majority of the time I am cool and unflustered, it's just today I'm a little irritated.
I guess there's no rush, and it's no big deal- it's not like I'm holding myself from seeing some other boy while I wait. It's just an experiencing co-occurring with the rest of my life. Relax.
He's a little hot/cold with the messages, if this is consistent behaviour, whatever 'relationship' we have won't last- I can't abide people that run hot and cold, most especially because I am one, and I need my other half to have that gentle abiding tolerance that makes me able to come back again and again. I know that's asking a lot, and is a little hypocritical, but that's the way it is. There are a lot of good things I can say for The Ex, and that's one- he was always patient and giving with me, which I really appreciated. I can't see Gray doing the same, although it's hard to say, I don't know him that well after all. But hey, maybe I need something different?
In case you can't tell, I am blogging to avoid texting, although I'm not really too sure why I should be avoiding- this power game often seems pointless and needlessly frustrating- after all, after playing it for two weeks I should have more than proved to myself that he does text me if I don't text him?
I don't know. I just know I don't like this waiting.
m
I don't enjoy the waiting game with him, even the little victories of recieving a text first are paling compared to the fact that I have to wait for them. Even when he texts me first, and I reply, his response to mine can take days, literally. I do not enjoy this. I know he works nights, being a bartender, and then sleeps most of the day, I understand that, but I don't have to like it.
The fact that I've waited this long speaks of something, anyway. Would you believe it's been more than two weeks since we've actually been face to face? A month since I met him, and two weeks of nothing more than the occasional text is driving me mad, to say the least. Well, actually it's not... the vast majority of the time I am cool and unflustered, it's just today I'm a little irritated.
I guess there's no rush, and it's no big deal- it's not like I'm holding myself from seeing some other boy while I wait. It's just an experiencing co-occurring with the rest of my life. Relax.
He's a little hot/cold with the messages, if this is consistent behaviour, whatever 'relationship' we have won't last- I can't abide people that run hot and cold, most especially because I am one, and I need my other half to have that gentle abiding tolerance that makes me able to come back again and again. I know that's asking a lot, and is a little hypocritical, but that's the way it is. There are a lot of good things I can say for The Ex, and that's one- he was always patient and giving with me, which I really appreciated. I can't see Gray doing the same, although it's hard to say, I don't know him that well after all. But hey, maybe I need something different?
In case you can't tell, I am blogging to avoid texting, although I'm not really too sure why I should be avoiding- this power game often seems pointless and needlessly frustrating- after all, after playing it for two weeks I should have more than proved to myself that he does text me if I don't text him?
I don't know. I just know I don't like this waiting.
m
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